Ephesians 2:4-5... Inertia

The whole week at Ecuador was, like Tyler says, a continuous slap in the face from God about how selfish we are, especially here in America. In Jazmin's group, there was a lady who had barely anything, yet she fed them everyday for lunch. In my group, the toilets didn't even have water in them. Whenever they'd offer us food, no matter how disgusting it was, we had to accept it. Why? Because that's all they'd have for the day and not accepting it means that we're saying we're too good for whatever they give. It's the ultimate time for them to say, "How dare you think you're better than me?!" When I think about it, they're so generous to their guests while we avoid even asking if they want food. One girl (after accepting Jesus as her Savior) gave her rosary to me and I was touched. It was fake gold and fading but it probably meant a lot to her family, that was their religion. As for me, I spent months begging my mom for a cross made out of white gold just so it won't fade. The girl asked me to put it on and I was soooo hesitant because I have never worn a rosary before... but with the reminder of accepting whatever they give us, I put it on for her.

It was more than just what they offered. Everyday, the kids would walk to and from school by themselves, many of them younger than 10. I remember asking the kids "Cuantos anos tienes?" (How many years do you have?) and most of them would reply "nueve." Occasionally they would say "cuatro" but they usually had brothers or sisters to take them home. I remember this one conversation with a little girl named Natalie:

me: Donde esta tu madre? (Where is your mother?)
Natalie: En mi casa (In my house)
me: Tu padre? (Your father?)
Natalie: No tengo (I don't have)
me: No tiene? (You don't have?)
Natalie: *nods*

That was probably the worse question I could've asked. I felt so guilty but she looked like it was normal to her. As I hugged her and held her close, I looked up at the sky and said the only thing that could come to my mind, "Jesus es tu padre. Jesus te ama." She nodded. She was such an adorable girl, you could tell she was the "cute but not popular" girl. When I told my mom the conversation when I got home, my mom said "One day, she'll remember she doesn't have a father and she'll think she can have kids and they won't need one." As that ran through my mind, I thought of how sad that is. These kids seemed so eager to meet us and no matter what we did, even if most of us didn't understand or speak their language, they loved us. They were just happy that we were there and they loved us. I remember on the 3rd day, I picked up my favorite one, Janet, and she said to me "Te quiero mucho." (I love you so much)

Plus the complaining inside the camp made us seem more selfish than ever. Before we'd leave at 10am and after we'd come back at 4pm, there was always something wrong. The schedule was super tiring, 6am-11pm of just constant movement. Being at 6000 feet above sea level took a toll on how we'd breathe. One shower wouldn't work or there would be no hot water. Some girl accidentally took Catt's towel and even though she had another one, it was just a pain knowing someone was using the towel you wiped your butt with. Catt and I were at bad terms at the beginning of the trip because of our ongoing fight. The food was always the same for breakfast. Sometimes Emma would annoy me but I chose to be an Ate and take care of her because she reminds me so much of how bad my health was when I was a kid. I was still butthurt about my Barkada not being there. Inertia felt so separated at times. There was technical problems... but our problems are so minor. We're just so used to everything working OUR way.

On the bright side, Catt and I had an hour talk alone about our fight. We actually got a lot solved. Even though there's still problems, we both have to admit... we're so alike that we annoy each other. We do the EXACT same things that piss each other off. People say the EXACT same things about us. Plus we found out there's backstabbers that are playing both sides. Our conclusion was just to talk to each other about it, instead of venting to other people. Because when you hear things through the grapevine, even if it just went through one person, it can be so much different than the truth.